Mid-week trip

The Wonderful Spouse and I went on an overnight trip to San Diego to see a comedian we haven’t had a chance to see before. The Spouse made us hotel reservations.

We left before noon and the drive down was really smooth.

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We stopped at a cactus and succulent nursery that I’d been to once before and wasn’t sure where it was. We found it pretty easily.

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This is my favorite purchase.

We had drinks at the hotel bar

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and walked to a Brazilian restaurant near the hotel. Then we walked to the theater.

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It was really cool inside.

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There has been a distinct lack of posts lately. My mom’s health suddenly took a turn for the worse, she went into the hospital and she died shortly after. We went through all of the conflicting emotions of the loss of a very loved mom whose mind and body were failing. Difficult doesn’t begin to describe it. Sometimes the simplest things were the most difficult. Signing the hospice paper was an emotional avalanche. In the hospital or at home, I was there almost every day. Her mental condition deteriorated until no one could manage it. She ended up in hospice house and died in less than 24 hours.

Afterwards was the rush of preparing for a funeral while in emotional shock, notifying people, travel, beds. Youngest sister did most of it.

Since then I wash back and forth in waves of different emotions. Guilt, sadness, guilt, missing her, guilt.

For the first two weeks it seemed like she came to mind from minute. We’d spent so much time together over the past seven years. Seven years of Sundays. Sunday lunch with Mom was a big part of the clock that measured my time. I saved up everything that happened in my life so we would have something to talk about. That will probably be the only thing I’m grateful to Trump for. He was an endless topic of conversation.

I’ve lost my best cheerleader, too. She could be relied on to be happy about every positive thing that happened in my life.

So I’m feeling a bit untethered. I wasn’t aware of how much ‘what Mom would think of that’ there was in my life until there wasn’t the mom-wall for it to bounce off of.

I feel like I’ve lost a refuge. Someplace I could go if I really had to. Someone I could talk to.

My doctor died and I’m really sad

I had this great doctor. He helped me get through a very rough and frightening time. And he died. Suddenly. Like I saw him a couple of weeks ago and have a prescription in my purse suddenly. When I got the letter from his office I thought maybe I had an overdue bill or something.

All those things that people write for condolences, saddened, shocked, I really feel that. He’d been someone I knew I could go to with my health issues. He’d made me feel like we were partners in my health care. He was kind, conscientious and a little bit weird. Just my kind of person.

This is the first time I’ve felt this way about someone I wasn’t related to. I’ll find another doctor, but I won’t find another him.

Garden Status 20170613

Fiddled around quite a bit in the garden this weekend. It’s amazing how much work I can do out there and still no one else can see the difference. I ended up with a full trash barrel of pruning and even I can barely tell the difference.

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I think these are going to be green zebra tomatoes. I’m looking forward to trying them, I’ve never had any. They might be tiger tomatoes, but they’re the wrong shape. More like to be the green zebras.

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I got this echevaria imbricata because I love the way the rosettes grow in tightly packed mounds. I potted it so it could develop a bigger root system before I put it out in the yard. It’s also starting to produce offsets.

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I got this euphorbia guiengola plant because the description said that it would develop a caudex over time. I’ve had it for a couple of years now and it shows no sign of developing a thickening trunk. I’m still pretty happy with it, even if it is basically just sticks with flowers on them. I haven’t seen this plant anywhere before, so at least it has the advantage of being unusual.

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This poor little aloe is getting a little sun stressed. It looks better when the leaves a re a darker green, so I moved it to a spot where it doesn’t get quite so much sun.

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This aloe is apparently happy with a crowded root system. The pot it’s in might hold two cups of soil at most. It’s one of the first things I got when I found the Orange County Cactus and Succulent Society. I couldn’t resist the colors. These guys are as close to cactus as I get. I just don’t like pokey things. Had a bad experience when I was a kid. Pliers were required to remove the spines.

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My ledebouria socialis is doing pretty well. I’m anticipating moving this one, too, when the heat of summer moves in. I love how well it goes with the pot it’s in.

Welcome to the Jungle

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The garden is still very happy so far this year. The nasturtiums are still blooming in all but the most sun-exposed parts of the yard. They’re generally crispy by this time of year. I went a little nuts with seeds this year and have been a little surprised by which have been the most successful.

Cornflowers
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Cornflowers
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And more cornflowers

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It’s nice to sit outside with all the flowers blooming everywhere. We also have a hummingbird who has claimed the yard and guards it assiduously. When we’re sitting out in the evening he zooms back forth the length of the patio to make sure there are no intruders and everyone knows that it’s his yard. I enjoy having a yard that hummingbirds think are worth guarding.

Traffic Monster

That would be me. I am the most impatient driver. That’s one reason I try to be early. It’s much more relaxing. I act like everyone is in my way if there’s a possibility I could be late. I plan my drive with traffic patterns in mind. Stay out of the right lane in that area because you pass three schools and there are lots of pedestrians. Stay out of the left lane on that section because traffic always piles up there. Get past the school bus before it stops or you’ll have to stop and wait for a LOT of school kids to get on.

But the area near where I work drives me crazy(er). There’s one signal that has me pounding the steering wheel in frustration. The left turn signal lasts long enough to let three cars through, if you start when it turns green. Which apparently no one does. It seems like everyone is either on their phone, asleep at the wheel or have the reaction time of a snail. They also don’t read the traffic sign, which is Left turn yield on green, and I often have to wait through three signals before I get to turn. So I sit there flailing and screaming like a mad monkey and hoping that no one actually hears me.