Have had to go back on dialysis. It was miserable 30 years ago, it’s miserable now. To the doctor, sorry I cried but it’s an occasion deserving of tears.
Dialysis is a four hour torture session. It wouldn’t be so bad, but I’m freezing the whole time. Blanket and coat notwithstanding. No wonder I hate being cold.
And I feel worse afterwards than before. Just as I’m starting to feel human again, I have to go back.
Don’t feel like doing anything, including get out of bed. Don’t feel like I can do anything. Do feel like I can’t take very much more of this.
Blog of a geek with a garden 
I’ve been on dialysis for six years now. It seems hospitals and clinics always are too cold. Depending on the place you get dialysis, you either are allowed to bring your own blankets or they provide them. In either case, stand up for yourself. Ask for four blankets if that’s what it takes for you to be comfortable or two if that’s all it takes! You are the patient, and your comfort is their responsibility and goal. The recliners have heated seats everywhere I’ve had dialysis, and I definitely use the feature.
I know what you mean about being out of it afterwards. I go in at 5 AM, and typically am on dialysis by anywhere from 10 after to 30 after, depending on how things go. I have a dialysis fistula; catheters are a bit easier to start up, which I guess you might have at this point – they are another pain to keep safe of infection! No later than 10 AM, I’ll be through. I give myself fifteen minutes for the fistula access points to coagulate over since that seems to minimize bleed out and all the mess of washing blood out of clothes than holding just 10 minutes.
I then go home, eat lunch, watch a little television, then either take a nap or fall asleep watching television. I have a weird time awake since I’m out of sync with the rest of the world. I try to sleep for a few hours in my bed after watching news programs in the evening, but lots of times, I fall sleep, again, in a chair in front of the television.
The dialysis day routine carries over to the remaining four days of the week, which makes social activities problematic. I can’t do social activities on dialysis day afternoons because I end up having to leave early or fall asleep at the table or in the chair!
I’ve felt much like you in past. I try to look at it from the other perspective: the alternative is a miserable death within a fairly short time of a few days! Also, because you have these feelings, it is important that you talk with the people running the dialysis clinic, letting them know those things that are making dialysis a problem for you.
My hospital-run dialysis clinic has a social worker who comes around monthly who helps patients connect with help for everything from financial issues to psychological issues. Another thing she does is help patients connect with transplant programs if that’s what they chose. Use these services, if they are offered where you get dialysis, or ask the people running it if they can connect you with specific services. At minimum, she chats with us patients and finds out if we’ve had issues to deal with since her previous visit. Many of the patients deal with degrees of depression, not something I personally have had to deal with.
Remember one thing: you, as the patient, are a major part of the team dealing with your health issue that requires dialysis. You have a say in your treatment, and it isn’t “pushy” to ask for more blankets if that helps you stay warm during your time on dialysis! Or “whiney” to tell the nurse or technician you are cramping up or feel light-headed during or after treatment. They might be taking you down to too light a dry weight. Speak up for yourself if you haven’t been. It isn’t being a “troublemaker”.
Having a positive attitude can be difficult when on dialysis, especially if it interferes with things you enjoy doing, work, or family life. Try, though, to count your blessings each morning. Things won’t be easy while on dialysis, but there are alternative ways of having it at home that some people find easier to take, if more time consuming (12 hours!). Ask about those. You might be a candidate.
Don’t forget you can talk with fellow patients about your mutual concerns and dialysis experiences. Sometimes that’s more helpful than trying to get across to people not on dialysis just what it’s like, why you are having some issues dealing with it. Not everyone will talk with you about it, yet there are always people like me who will. I hope this has given you some comfort, some ideas on how to approach issues like freezing at the dialysis clinic.
For the record, the most blankets I ever asked for was four, at University of Colorado Hospital – Denver. That dialysis unit was next to these huge uninsulated windows during a below zero period in Winter. I could have used a fifth or sixth blanket, but thought I’d be “too pushy” to ask. I was miserable! These days, I’d ask for the additional blankets. The people running the unit all had sweaters and other warm clothes on.
Thanks so much for taking the time to respond to this. It is helpful to hear from someone who’s been there. It’s not that the people in my life aren’t supportive, it’s just that there’s only one of him and he’s handling a lot right now, too. Thanks again. It really helps.
Best wishes for a better time in dialysis!