I am not having a good time.

I have not been feeling my best for a while now. For the last few months I’ve been sleeping a lot and feeling generally fatigued. A couple of weeks ago I noticed that I has starting to have joint pains and vague muscle aches. All the symptoms of just before I was diagnosed with lupus years ago. I decided that rather than wait to see if the symptoms would snowball I’d go to the doctor and find out for sure. My suspicions were well founded. After decades of dormancy my lupus is active again. Ah shit. I think I know why. I had a horrible cold while I was on vacation this year. I was actively sick for almost 10 day and then another month before coughing went away. The general malaise never did.

Right after the doctor told me, I was afraid it was because of my job. At the same time I went from a low stress job to a high stress job. And while I’m sure that change didn’t help, it really bothered me to think that it might be the cause. When I remembered about being sick I was actually relieved. I’m also happy that I was right about how I was feeling. Makes me feel like I’m not crazy or malingering.

One of the things that’s going on is that for the past couple of nights I’ve been having lower leg cramps so bad that I wake up screaming in pain, startling the heck out my husband and the cats. I basically leap out of bed and try to get my legs in a position that will stretch out the muscles. Unfortunately, that’s a bit difficult when both shin and calf muscles have seized up. And it doesn’t help that our bed is so high I have to stand on my toes to get into bed. It’s kind of funny, but the younger cat, after the first time, just took it in stride, following me on the bed as I walked back and forth. I don’t know whether she was trying to comfort me or just saw it as another opportunity to get petted.

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