It’s sick, I know

Housework is starting to be therapeutic.

The last 12 months have been incredibly stressful. From Dad’s illness and eventual death. That eventual part was horrible. To Mom-in-law’s death. It was awful and I feel bad. At least it wasn’t eventual. That eventual part is horrible. Now Mom being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. We have no idea on how long the eventual part is going to be, and it’s really awful. Mom is suspicious of everything we do and everything we don’t do. We’ve been wanting her to stop driving, but haven’t been able to. She finally asked us to come along to her doctor’s appointment and ask him. We didn’t do it, she did. And he said she shouldn’t unless she could pass the test. And she knew she wouldn’t pass the test.

She’s acting like since we’ve completed that step we’re going to put her into a home. No matter what we say she thinks we’re conspiring against her. I know it’s part of the disease, but it’s really hard to deal with. You’re working hard trying to keep her comfortably in her own home and safe. But she suspects everything we do. *sigh*

To say that I’m anxious is the understatement of the year. And, I know it’s sick, but I’m starting to like housework. Thanks to this site, I’ve stopped torturing myself with housework. I don’t try to do it all at once. It doesn’t have to be perfect. And, as I try to do as much as I can as quickly as I can, it’s almost aerobic.

I find that helps the anxiety more than just the exercise alone. There aren’t a million niggling tasks waiting to be done, weighing on me. It’s like I’ve done exercise with side benefits. I can’t believe I’m actually starting to like it.

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