You can’t fire me

Kind of having some issues with Mom’s favorite caretaker. He already told her that her other caretaker said that she was demented. Mom immediately asked for someone else. She’s more than a little sensitive on this issue because she has had problems mentally. Not dementia, more delirium

No one heard him say that. And her favorite caretaker had been angling from day one to be her only caretaker.

This week our cousin has come from out-of-state to visit her for a week. And her favorite caretaker told my Mom that he had heard me telling my cousin that she had dementia.

That made me mad. Really mad.

The last twelve months have been a struggle. Dad fell, and after nine weeks in the hospital, he died.

Then the short, intensely busy and intensely painful days of arranging his funeral. It was a time when nothing I said or did felt adequate.

A month or so later my mother-in-law died. Unexpectedly and unpleasantly. I loved my mother-in-law. And her death affected me.

After came the long, weary months of watching Mom decline. She’s always been a person who defined herself by what she did for others. She asked us several times what she was supposed to do with herself now. What should her purpose be?

We’ve tried. But we can’t give her purpose. We can only give her things to occupy her time. That’s not purpose and she knows it.

Our cousin came out this past week to visit her. She’d waited until Mom seemed more stable before coming. She’d come out when Dad was ill only to have to come out a few weeks later for his funeral. She didn’t want to do that again and I agree with her reasoning. She also lost her mom this year, and while I wasn’t that close to my aunt, I feel close to my cousin.

Ack. Ranting there. Sorry.

After I heard the Mom’s caregiver said that he’d heard me saying that Mom was demented I sat down with her and told her that I’d never said that. That none of us had said that.

And when I left that day I told her to remember that she couldn’t fire me. She could try, but I’m not that easy to get rid of.

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