Roller coaster redux

Yesterday they told my mom that nothing was critical.

This afternoon they told her that he only has a few days left. The doctor told he that the myeloma was killing him. His white blood cell count is rising.

Now, really, if it was the myeloma, his counts would fall. He isn’t making enough red blood cells, but his white count keeps rising. I pretty much see that as the infection is killing him. We’ve been told that his abcess wasn’t an infection, but it is. We’ve been told that he has infections in/on his kidneys, liver and lungs. But the doctor told my Mom today that the tests for infections came back negative. I don’t trust what the doctors are saying at all anymore.

What’s killing him are the infections. He’s gasping out his last breaths, his lungs are filling up with fluids. But the stupid ass doctor keeps lying to my Mom. I truly believe that the hospital is doing all it can to heal him. It’s the doctors who won’t tell the truth. Who won’t tell us what’s really happening. They need to be careful about that. Some people can see what’s actually happening, no matter what they say.

The oncologist said that people don’t die of myeloma. They die of the side effects of myeloma. That may or may not be true. But I truly believe that my father is dying of infections he got while he was at the hospital. And the dumb-ass doctor wants anything or anyone to be blamed except him.

Some of us won’t buy that shit. Not by a long shot.

My Mom-in-law has stayed out of hospitals for the most part. I didn’t agree with her initially. I’m coming around to her point of view. The more people mess with life, the more screwed up it gets. The more interventions doctors use to heal you, the less likely you are to live. Hospitals are the best places in the world to get antibiotic resistent bacteria.

I just can’t believe that the doctor told my Mom that the cultures came back negative when all along he’s had infections. Infections that spread from the incision to his kidneys, to his liver and now his lungs. That damn man is lying to us. And has been all along. Trying to absolve the hospital from blame. I don’t actually blame the hospital. My Dad’s immune system has been compromised. He’s had chemotherapy three times. It takes a toll. I can understand that. I can deal with that. What I can’t deal with is having someone lie to us because he’s trying to cover his damn ass. CYA medicine. I understand why they do it, but what he’s done has caused so much more pain than was necessary. Brought my Mom up and then slammed her down again and again. She’s pancake thin now. And I may lose both of my parents because of his lies.

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