Picked up Mom to go see Dad after work today. He let me swab out his mouth and feed him some ice chips, which he hadn’t let the nurses do. I think the swab with water and the ice chips have been the only pleasant stimulus he’s had. After I’d done that I asked him if he wanted any more and he said ‘No, thank you.’ That’s a very fine thread to hang any hopes on, but we’re hanging on to any improvement at all at this point.
Some friends of theres came to the hospital this evening. I’m so grateful for their support. They’ve been true friends to Mom and Dad for a long time now and even if Dad can’t appreciate their visit, Mom can. That certainly counts in my book.
This is so hard to do. So hard not to give up. But I know from personal experience that the people that you love and that love you can lead you back to life. I feel that he’s still in there, beneath the pain and disorientation, he’s there somewhere, somehow. So I’ll go and swab his mouth and give him ice chips because I can’t do anything else. I just can’t do nothing.
These are our choices. Do nothing or do something. Doing nothing is a choice. I choose to do everything I can. I’d hate myself if I did less.
There’s a connection here with the health care controversy. The thing is, this is a society. You can either be a society that takes care of its members or you can be a society that leaves its members to die in the streets. I don’t know how you feel about it, but I really don’t want to be a society that leaves people to die. I know if will cost more. Hell, I was one of those people. I had no money and no health iinsurance. I had lupus. I almost died. But I didn’t. Probably because my Mom showed up every day. I can’t do anything less. They made all the difference to me. They cared.
So while I don’t know what will happen with my Dad, I’m not willing to give up. I will do what I can, even if it’s only swabbing out his mouth and feeding him ice chips.