Tears are not so close to the surface at this point, but the lead weight in my chest remains, coloring the world with a persistent shade of gray.
Went over to my folks house on Friday and took mom on some errands. Each time I see him, Dad seems almost normal to me. But things happen in front of other members of the family. It really seems like his condition is deteriorating rapidly. A month ago, he was fine. Now he can’t remember where he put stuff, he’s putting things in odd places. This isn’t a decline, it’s a crash.
I worry about how long my mom will be able to care for him. What will happen to Mom later? Hamster brain plagues my nights. I’m having more trouble sleeping than I ever have before. I want to exercise; I know it will help. But it’s hard to work up the energy to exercise when I’ve been up most of the night.
Thanks for the recommendation on the shower as a place to let go. I can tell that’s going to be useful.